Kirby's Moving Forward Monday Story

Moving Forward Monday by Kirby Banks

In order to move forward, we need to recognize our successes and what we have overcome as survivors. You deserve to be PROUD of yourself! You’ve been blamed by your abuser and yourself for way too long it’s time to CLAIM THE VICTORIES among all the trials and tribulations. Most of you have read my story and yes there’s tons of toxicity and lows yet despite all of them I’m going to give you some HIGHLIGHTS OF MY VICTORIES from my story. In sharing this my goal is to give HOPE to other survivors that although it doesn’t feel like it there is HOPE for victories as you stand up for yourself. 

• I finally left my abuser for good in 2011 after 7 years of abuse. 

• Got my first TRO and civil stay away order in 2012.

• I started my healing journey in 2015.

• Got my 2nd TRO in 2016.

• Shared my story at the Still I Rise Women’s Abuse Survivor Conference in January 2017 for the first time. 

• Called the police on my ex-husband in 2017 for the 1st time in 13 years. He was arrested and charges were pressed by the state. 

• I reached out to Faith House in 2017.

• Got my 3rd TRO, went to court, and got an 18-month protective order. 

• Called the cops or filed a police report with the Faith House Detective for every violation of the protective order resulting in many more arrest and criminal charges from 2017-2019. 

• I became a member in 2018 of Determined to Rise Ministry, a Christian based nonprofit for abused women.

• I began co-facilitating and facilitating Mending the Soul Women’s Abuse Groups at the Bayou Church in 2018.

• In 2018 my abuser filed for sole custody of our 3 children. Thanks to Faith House I was granted full custody with a visitation schedule. 

• Faith House also assisted me in finally getting the correct amount of child support each month in 2018.

• Due to the numerous violations the judge issued a criminal protective order in January 2019.

• I did not agree to a plea bargain in August 2019 for the 2 felony charges from 2017.

• I became a member of Voices of Acadiana in February 2019 and began publicly advocating against domestic violence and sharing my story. 

• Trial finally happened in February 2020, with myself and my 15-year-old daughter taking the witness stand. 

• He was found guilty of lesser charges by a jury and given the maximum sentence for both charges by the judge. 

 

TO BE CONTINUED...... 

 

Kirby Banks with her 15-year-old daughter who had more courage and bravery than most adults by testifying against her father. She is a SILENT SURVIVOR! 

 

My young men 8 & 9 Also silent survivors.