VOICES of Acadiana

My Story I’m not sure that I can accurately depict my life during the decade of my previous relationship and only marriage, but I am willing to try. I remember my relationship with my ex-husband starting off as what felt like intense flattery and pursuit. There were times where I recognized the red flags, but he portrayed himself as a genuine man with only good intentions. He was fun, lively, kind, & made every attempt to win me over in big, meaningful ways. I slowly let my guard down and he slowly started to show his authentic self but only small parts within the first few years. I remember not long after our wedding his personality changed, and I began to see him more clearly. The first time he displayed rage, our first child was just born, and I remember feeling terrified, for myself and for her. I couldn’t imagine that I had chosen such a monster to start a family, but as soon as the monster showed his face, the charismatic charmer that I fell in love with appeared just as qu...

There was a dent in the right fender of my car. Shattered glass across my kitchen floor. Words said to me that had left marks no one else could see. Emotional abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, and reconstructive surgery are all part of my journey.  My name is Ashley Addison and I am a survivor of domestic violence. I grew up in a home where shouting, screaming, and breaking things were all relatively normal occurrences. Things that seem trivial and small today, back then, caused quite an uproar.    I found that as I grew older I accepted this behavior from dating partners. I found myself thinking things like, maybe I’ll be the one person to love them through this hard time or no one has ever stuck around this long- that'll show them I’m loyal. They won’t treat me the way they treat others. I found myself depressed and my life was in danger. Upon ending a previous relationship, I expressed how I’d become someone I couldn’t stand to see in the mirror. Someone who walked ...

  My personal journey through mental, emotional, and physical abuse began in 1999, one week before the big day. We shall call him J. We had a fight and he threw me against a wall and put his hands around my neck (never saw that coming).  Soon after the wedding, we were pregnant. Life went on without any other problems until I had baby C. You see I already had a son that was handicapped and J seemed to be the perfect father. Baby C came along and J acted like I was a burden because I needed his help caring for two children.  Years later the mind games began. I could spend only a certain amount on groceries, gas for my vehicle, and paying the bills. He watched the bank account like a hawk. He watched the phone records. He took my friends from me. He was jealous when I tried to go back to school. He didn’t want me to be able to care for myself. It was either him or school and I knew I could not survive without him. Or so I thought.  In 2005, J was in an accident and cou...